So wow! This blog stuff is hard, haha. I've been wracking my brain on what to write for about 5 days now. I always seem to have this apprehension when it comes to saying anything. So i'm thinking it all boils down to being afraid of being judged. You know that same old highschool way of thinking. Yes i still have that. And i'm only a couple years shy of 30. I'm hoping that with this blog i'll be able to break out of "my shell" as they say, just a little bit more...
So I guess I'll take this opportunity to tell everyone a little bit about myself. I come from a pretty big family. About 9 siblings altogether. I am the oldest, so I was pretty much able to enjoy watching a few of my younger siblings grow up. Even with the ones thats weren't far off in age from me I can remember asking to change their diappies. So needless to say ever since I can remember I wanted to be a mommy. So it's no surprise that I'm now the lucky mommy of two boys and wanting just maybe at least a few more ;)
Well before I get all gushy and off track I'll continue with my train of thought. I come from a family that is very "traditional" so to speak. Everyone is very formula, crib sleeping, crying it out, pro-spanking type of people. So needless to say when I became a parent and started with my ways of parenting I became known as the "family hippy". Evidently that's what you are called when you do everything completely opposite of "the norm". I've learned to hold my tongue quite often when it comes to the labeling but still find myself being challenged by them. I feel like I'm forever defending my ideal of parenting. And it's not people out right disagreeing with something. Here are a few examples: I nursed my first son til he was a little over 19 months and towards the end I was getting comments like, you're stopping when he turns 2 right? or if he's able to walk and talk then maybe he doesn't need to nurse anymore. Or when it comes to co-sleeping, I can't believe you have never used a crib! or don't you think he is old enough and to the point where he should be in his own bed?
Well my response is simply this. My children are only going to be little for so long. I'm not going to push them away from me by over disciplining or make them grow up any faster then they really have to by weaning before they are ready, or shoving them into a crib the first chance I get. I'm going to do whatever I possibly can to help them to grow up to be the most affectionate, caring, intelligent, and respectful people that they can be. And so with that they can pass the same qualities on to their offspring and so on.
4 comments:
Whenever I am confronted with someone who (ill-advisedly) still buys in to the notion that children should or should not be doing something by a certain age based on some half-cocked idea that they will never learn to be independent, or must be taught about how the real world works, I often quote Joseph Chilton-Pearce's article, Waking Up To The Holographic Heart http://www.ratical.com/many_worlds/JCP98.html in which he says that: "The theory we are preparing the child for life, or for the future, is a terrible travesty which betrays every facet of the human being. We don't prepare for life, we equip the child with the means to live fully at whatever stage they are in. The idea we're going to train a child at seven to get a good job at age twenty-seven is a travesty of profound dimension. It makes for a world where every 78 seconds a child is attempting suicide, as is true today. It is this kind of terrible despair we breed in our children when we don't see the difference between preparing and equipping our children to be present to life."
Keep teaching your children to be present to life, Lucy, no matter what the rules say about their age And wear your "Hippie Mom" title proudly <3
Good post Lucinda! You know, it's dawned on me before that I really don't know that much about you, even after all these years so this is good stuff to hear. I look forward to reading more!
And re: parenting, yeah it's tough to have people discuss with you your choices on parenting, They're your choices so it's a very personal thing, but sometimes people make it a discussion topic regardless.
I liked reading this and don't think you should ever feel like your parenting style is anything but what works best for you and your family. That is what counts. At the end of the day, you have to put aside the ignorant comments and feel that you are an awesome mommy (which you are!) :) I'm glad that my family offers no opinions at all unless I ask a specific question haha. You have a lot of friends and (an awesome) sister-in-law who support you! Keep writing and don't be afraid although I have that anxiety too with this blog stuff. We'll support each other!
Love this, Lucinda! And that's a great quote, Justine.
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